The Lazy, The Loser

Here's a story that will help you understand and gain focus in your practical life. Daniel and Adam were two good friends. They had been there for each other like brothers since childhood. However, they had to get apart because of undergraduate studies. In college, their lives changed which molded their personalities. People always brag about the fact that college is the time of experiences, well, it truly is. Until high school, both Daniel and Adam were average students in terms of academia and extra-curricular activities. Yet, they loved their lives - less to expect, more to enjoy.

Daniel:

He never focused on studies and missed several classes because of hangouts and parties. In his free time, free from parties and expeditions, he would just lay around and waste time. He became an ambassador of lethargy and procrastination. When the exam prep week came along, he got a little scared. He thought that he would fail because he literally never made any significant effort towards studies. The anxiety increased and he started being stressed out all the time. Thus, he made a plan to study. He tried to schedule whatever the time he had according the subjects and the respective difficulty level. However, he was never able to follow up the plan. Why? Because his mind was stuck in this stressful limbo. "What if I don't even understand the basics? Who's going to help me in prep? This text book is too bulky, so which chapters should I focus on? How about I take a nice nap and then study? What if I go out for a while to release some stress and then study in a calmed down attentive manner? Snap...I have lost two more days. Okay, never mind. Tonight, I'll study the whole book. How about I sleep tonight and study after a healthy breakfast in the morning?" All these thoughts strangled his mind and his attention was always sinking towards let's-not-study matters. Over thinking only increased his stress and never helped. Even when he pushed himself too hard and successfully sat on his study table, he was unknowingly spending most of his time on Facebook, YouTube and cellphone. He did manage to do some prep, but it not sufficient on any level.
Anyhow, he hoped that he will pass because a few of his college mates passed the same way. Finally the exams came, his first exam went horrible. He was freaking out and because of that, he was vague even when he was trying his level best to understand the concepts described in text books. He also tried to go for a group study but that didn't work out either. Either the people were too busy in their on schedules for prep or they were as bad at study as himself. Finally, the evil of exams have ended and now I can have my awesome life back, he thought. He tried not to care much about the results or change his attitude towards life and his future. And so the results came out. What was the outcome? He failed. He was ashamed and made a promise to himself that he will change and never be silly in making serious decisions again. But that did not happen. And he was kicked out of the college. Its been ten years since that time and he has finally learnt his lesson that being careful about serious matters is the requirement for survival. Today, he tries to improve his way of living. What does he do? A salesman at a cheap jewelry shop. Did his improvement in way of living did any good? Not so much. Why not? May be because it will take some time and he is not lucky enough to win a lottery. What was his major fault? College failure? No, his major fault was lethargy - an endless chain of non-productive time events. Can he still manage to gather up the positive energy and start over? Yes, its never too late - but it requires dedication, creativity, productivity and a honest-to-oneself mindset.

Adam:

He was also a cool guy like Daniel - loved adventures and parties. On the other hand, he also tried to have a responsible attitude in serious matters. He did not study hard either, however, he did not miss any classes and tried to spend his free time in a productive manner. He loved playing with coding languages and software applications. Therefore, everyday he would set one small goal for himself and make sure that he achieves his objective by the end of the day. Otherwise, he was always ready to sacrifice his sleep or eating time to fulfill his ambitions. Somehow, he deliberately associated his extra-curricular activities with his educational studies. This helped him in prep for exams, he was not studying much but an enough bit everyday. What happened to his academic career? He did pass the exams. However, later after a few semesters, he had to drop out of college because his parents were broke and couldn't support his college studies anymore. Its been ten years since he went to college and he still has that energy and excitement. What is he doing right now? He owns a software development company. What? How's that possible when he did not even graduate? He used his productive and creative nature to follow up his ambitions. Life gave him quite a hard time but he never lost hope. His dedication and hard work became the key to his success. He believed in the idea of working rather than the idea of thinking of work and then backing off from it.

"There are two wolves in a fight. One represents love and hope. The other one represents hatred and anger. Which one of these wolves wins the fight? The one you feed." - A Cherokee Legend

Life on earth is mortal. There is a time limit. How would you want to spend this time? Only thinking, not practicing, about the things you would and could have done? Or making your dreams come true using dedication and productivity?

"This life is yours to mold. Enjoy, live, be productive and be phenomenal."

By Umer Fiaz Abbasi

Plan bigger, achieve more!

I was invited to give a speech last week about my experiences of local and overseas work life. Following is the jist of what I came up with on my way towards Business Incubation Centre, Park Road, Islamabad. All of this may sound cliche to you but these are the true lessons from work that I hated, horrible bosses, low salaries, and then amazing mentors who changed my life.

1. Take on big goals and huge dreams. Thing bigger, be a dreamer and work harder.

2. Change yourself today. Start working harder today. Don't wait up for that perfect time because it ain't coming. This must be very clear in your mind.

3. The world is not just meadows and rainbows. Its hard, really hard. You have to create paths and opportunities for yourself.

4. Don't play the blame game. Instead, play the reality-check game. No regrets from the past, only lessons. Plan more and do more.

5. Don't be average. Average people are never phenomenal. Be special. But how? Never let anybody tell you that you can't do what you wanna do. You gotta push yourself beyond limits and never stop trying. Challenge yourself everyday, you must be your own competitor.

6. Every time you fall, you must get up. If you can look up, you can get up. People will tell you failure is bad and stay away from trying out new things. Let me tell that they are wrong. Every failure is an opportunity to learn, grow up and initiate a new beginning, a blessing if you will.

7. Don't settle for less. Don't stop looking. Stay positive, keep moving forward.

8. I was told that most of you are fresh grads and inters. The major advice that I have for you today is 'start saying yes'. Yes to life, yes to courage, yes to hard work, yes to dreams and ambitions, yes to your potential and yes to a great future ahead.

I welcome you all to 'riwajify.com', 'Eta Technovations' and 'i2s labs'. We provide life changing opportunities to positive minds like you. Are you ready for it?

"Umeed-e-Subh"

وہ   شب ِ سوچ   میں   کچھ   دیوں   کا  جلنا

وہ  شہر ِ مایوسی  میں  کچھ  صداؤں کا اٹھنا 

موسم ِ خزاں    میں    باد ِ صبا     کا     چلنا 

اور  دل  کے  ویرانے  میں اک امید کا ابھرنا 

وہ   مثبت   خیالات   کا   دل  پر  بصیرا کرنا 

وہ    ہمت ِ مردان     کا     پیدا      ہو    جانا 

جب  یاد   ہوں  سب   کو  سبق ِ حق  و خودی 

اور جب  ہر  سوچ  میں  رچ بس جائے تبدیلی 

پھر   ہر   سوچ ِ ضعیف   کو    بھلا    دو  تم 

اور     پھن      لو      جامۂ ِ جدت    و    علم 

ہوتی     ہے      راہ ِ حق      کٹھن      بیشک 

کیا   ہوتی   ہے   حاصل   جمود   سے  جیت؟

اب  بڑھا  دو  اپنے  قدم  منزل ِ ترقی کی جانب 

یہ   قدم ِ جفاکش   و  تاجر   و  استاد  و شاگرد 

ہر رات  کی  تاریکی اک پیغام ِ صبح ہے ظأھرؔ  

مشعل ِ امید کو جلاۓ رکھتا ہے امیان ِ خداوندی 

Words of Wisdom

Last week was my birthday. One of the most amazing presents that I had received was a gift from my project leader, Dr. Varun Jeoti. And that’s what I would like to share today through this article. He gave me the present of “words of wisdom”, something that may change the way I live my life. Let’s take a short journey through the road of “wisdom”, as I interpret it.

Find your abilities and ambitions...

Analyze yourself and get to know who you are. You must know your strength, abilities and ambitions. Do what you love or try to love what you do. Find the balanced tradeoff between wealth and desire. And make sure that you vividly differentiate between work ambitions and hobbies. The reflection of a satisfactory work life is the excitement that you get every day while you are on your way to work.

Plan activities for a seamless process of improvement…

Once you have found the right path for yourself, plan your today and future. Pave the ways that will help you to polish your abilities and be the best in the future. If you are lousy and you do not plan to improve yourself, you may end up having a huge guilt of “could have done” and in turn unhappiness.

Don’t let negative thoughts make you unhappy…

Always try to have a positive approach toward life. Find happiness in what you have achieved and keep on moving forward. Stay motivated, stay inspired. Negativity brings hopelessness which kills creativity, productivity and the striving attitude.

Don’t compare yourself with others all the time…

Every now and then, the thought of your old friends/colleagues living a life better than you will come to your mind. Even if you don’t like to compare yourself with others, there will be people around you who’ll keep on reminding that to you from time to time. Ignore the feeling of jealousy when that comparison happens. Rather, learn from the decisions and hard work of successful people, and keep going forward. Focus on what you want from life. You will get what you want if you are on the right track.

Don’t regret, only learn…

Have a short glance at your past, but only to learn and not to regret. The secret of a happy life is no regrets. Learn and move on. Remember, there should be no regrets but only lessons.

Live in today…

Do not think about the past all the time. What you could have done and which decision went wrong? Continuously thinking about the things that “could” have been done is not a healthy activity. Rather, live in today and make the best of what life has given you. Find the door to your happiness and then live the life to the fullest, after all happiness is what we all are looking for.

Don’t underestimate yourself…

Build up your personality and learn to be confident. Never underestimate yourself and always continue the process of learning. Be a student of life. Nobody is perfect and we all have our ups and downs in life. What’s important is that you learn to pick yourself up after every fall. Use the confidence to enhance your qualities and keep working on the characteristics you need to improve. Be a better person everyday from the yourself of yesterday.

Its easier said than done but…

Its true that its always easier said than done. But life does not have to be so hard. The choices you make in life will make a big difference at the end. Love, work and enjoy. Stay happy, stay blessed!

By Umer Fiaz Abbasi

kya hota!

Photo Credits: Hanzala Ali Abbas

Kabhi ye khayal ata hai keh wesal-e-yar na hota to kya hota,

Tasawur-e-dil yun roshan na hota to kya hota!

Deewan-e-ishq se kuch kadam duri bhi hum ko bechain kiay deti hai,

Hum astana-e-meboob k gadagar hotay to kya hota!

Pesh-e-zuban har baat zaruri nahi samajhtay,

Dil ki darhkan ne sab keh dia hota to kya hota!

Chand lamho ki mulakat se kesay banay eman kamil,

Mehw-e-guftagu-e-ishq ta-abad rehtay to kya hota!

Rang-e-dunia kr deti hai yar se juda juda,

Hum dil kay kuch pakkay hotay to kya hota!

Ye Zamana shughal-e-gumrahi rakhta hai Zahir,

Ham kisi aur dunia k hotay to kya hota!

Our love, our children!

Today is Valentine's Day. Regardless of what I think about this day, let me tell you how one of my friends celebrated it. She went to a local orphanage and spent some hours with the kids. She gave them balloons and chocolates to express her love. What a beautiful gesture, isn't it?

There are 48.3 million orphans only in Africa, (www.uneca.org). There are 143 to 210 million orphans worldwide and everyday 5760 more children become orphans. Approximately 250,000 orphans are adopted annually and each day 38,493 orphans age out of the system by age sixteen with no family to belong to and no place to call home, (http://skywardjourney.wordpress.com/orphan-statistics).

Our children, our world. The idea states that the orphans are not alone and they have relatives, i.e., us and we are their family.

The organisations that work for the orphans do a great job in providing them the basic needs of life. Orphan's day is celebrated in many institutions and by several organisations in most parts of the world. The idea is to give these children a good joyful day. I witnessed during an event for orphans that these kids really enjoy the activities and its a real nice gesture to spend sometime with them. They get to know that there are people who care for them and they can get the family love as well. But, having the thought that this is going to last only one day, once or twice an year, makes them sad. They are happy and they do enjoy, but you stay with a child for sometime, play with them or do things for them that amuse them, and then eventually you call it a day, only then you'll know what I am talking about. That face, that little sad pretty face, breaks my heart. Its like they don't want you to go but they don't say it out loud because they know you won't stay since they tried this sometime in the past or may be they have been told so not to say such things.

I can't even think of having the most painful feeling of not having or losing a parent. If someone has this feeling in such a young age, how would they survive and how would they let the hope of life and betterment still live inside them, are the questions I am sure most of us can never answer. Hope is what all these kids have. But their hopes are shattered every now and then. Can I save the self-respect, self-confidence and hope of such a child? Should I be visiting them?

I am quite moved from what my friend did. She taught me that we should never forget the ones in need in times of happiness & joy. I wish we could make this a habit: "Always share with the needy, when you have!"

I want you to sit back, open your heart, clear your mind and take a moment to think about an orphan and ask yourself, don't they deserve more? Don't they deserve you? What's the reason of you being successful in life? May be ALLAH is giving you the opportunity to help others, hmm?

The welfare organisation are doing an amazing work to help these kids. May Allah bless them.

What could be the best help for orphans?

Personally, I believe that the events and activities arranged for the orphans should be appreciated and acknowledged on higher levels. But the best help that you can give an orphan is to give them "parents", the love they deserve.

Look around you, find them, do as much as you can for them. The feeling that grabs your heart when you see a smiling face (you helped) is true happiness, a feeling no words can describe. 

I leave you with a question: What can you do for orphans?

"Stand up and look around your neighborhood,

 You may find some children with no childhood."

 "Save an orphan's hope and you will save a generation."

by
Umer Fiaz Abbasi

( I do not intend to offend or harm anyone's feelings. I write what I feel, if I'm wrong please help me to correct myself.)
(Photo: hiebert5inperu.blogspot.com)

Live In The Moment

Life is short, true story. The life span has been decreasing over time in the human history. Today, an age of 60+ is considered as bonus life. We are born and we start understanding the world around 10. High school finishes around 17. Then undergrad studies keep us occupied until we are 21. Then you need to work harder and harder to secure a well-paid job in the next 3 years. Until 25 we reach to a somewhat stable point and then some of us decide to go for MS/MBA to improve the academic record. Around 30 most of us are married or ready to get married. And there you go; nearly half of your life is gone. We spend the next half to earn for the family and take care of them. And when we grow old, usually there isn’t much we can do about life. I am not implying that any of these activities is wrong, I am only trying to help you imagine how short life is and fast does it go.

Several movies, songs and other kinds of media are emphasizing these days on “live in the moment”. Some of these audio/video manifestations describe the right idea of “live in the moment”, but most of them do not. Most folks think that “live in the moment” means: you go crazy over life and do whatever you like with no/least ethical constraints, and practically go super-mad whenever you get a chance.

Well, I humbly disagree. I see the concept of “live in the moment” in a different perspective. I briefly explain the concept of “live in the moment” as follows.

1.       Meet your parents every day. Or at least 2-3 times a week.
They need you now like you needed them before. And they might not have much time left to live. You don’t want to bear the mammoth regret of not spending time with them before they leave the world.

2.       Spend time with your kids, as much as you can. Their “growing-up” needs you.
Earning and providing only is not enough, true story. Their personality will reflect how you treat them & how much time do you spent with them. Don’t be over-strict & also don’t be a don’t-care.

3.       Your spouse needs you.
They might not show this or they might compromise with your busy routine. But they do need your time. Communicate with them and express yourself daily. Communication is the key to a successful relationship as it kills all the misunderstandings and wrong assumptions.

4.       Set a goal for your every day. And by the end of the day evaluate yourself. 

       This will help you improve in several ways.

5.       Try to “live” every day. Think of it as if it’s your last day.
Nobody wants to be sad, upset, angry or jealous, or lie, be dishonest, hurt anybody or commit any other sin on their last day. So, try to forgive, be happy & gracious, and help others.

6.       Fear.
 Fear the judgment day. Repent on your mistakes, fix the ones you still can & seek forgiveness from Allah every day. You don’t know how many of these chances you still have. May be many; or may be just this last one, today.

7.       Help at least one person in need every day; you might not have enough time left to do good deeds.

8.       Do something silly, funny, adventurous, and exciting every day. 

      The intensity of excitement might not matter, but its presence in life does matter a lot. Because living in boredom is an unhappy, dull & a zombie-like life which no one can cherish.

“Live every day like it’s your last day.”

“Death is inevitable; but ignorance is by choice.”

By Umer Fiaz Abbasi

(Photo: www.dingo.care2.com)